Addict (June 2017)

The toxins run through your veins
As you cry out to the porcelain in your
dismay
You can’t get through the day
Without calling me.
You tell me your problems
And I solve them one by one
By lowering your heartbeat
Telling you
You don’t need
Anyone but yourself
And me.
The nighttime falls
And you will call
Me out.
I’ll burn your throat
One shot after another,
You keep me covered
And say you’ll never speak to me again.
But you’ll call me back,
And I’ll make up for the things you lack,
You know we are the best of friends.

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Toxins (June 2017)

The darkness comes out to play
And she says there’s no better way
Than to spend the day
With my head spinning this way.
Come to me,
Drown in me,
It calls.
No one can make you forget your death
wish
Like I can.
Don’t worry
It’ll only hurt for a little while
I swear I can make you smile.
Tomorrow you’ll swear you won’t speak to
me again.
But we both know I’m your only friend.

Clouds (June 2017)

She said,
Something in the air tastes bitter tonight
And he told her it was in her head again.
The purple sky melted away
into the later part of the day,
And the darkness stretched,
As the stars shone right through her.
The moon was in his eyes
And she knew the way
He was staring so far away
She wondered how far his mind could go.
As she laid her hand over his and said,
I know it’s in my head.

Thoughts (June 2017)

This house is a prison.
I sit in the dark and wait for them to
Come to me through the shadows.
They whisper in my ear,
Invading my thoughts.
They reach out with their long,
Thin fingers,
Clasping around my neck.
I’m gasping for air.
But I let them consume me.
I let them cut into my veins
And tear open my soul.
There’s no use fighting them anymore.
They never sleep.
They follow me during the day wherever I
go.
My soul is screaming
But I am powerless to make them leave.
Their whispers become louder with each
day.
As a matter of fact,
They’re whispering to me now.

Wake Up (Dec 2015)

Here I am lying breathless
In a whirlpool of dreams
The dreams are better than
This reality.
Sometimes it’s a shame to wake up.
Drowning myself in alcohol or high
To make it all disappear.
It won’t ever disappear.
Shadows of who I once was
Will always be here to
Haunt me.
My hand will always be pressed
Against the glass,
Showing me all the choices I
Didn’t make.
Taunting me with their different
Outcomes.
It takes my breath away.
Suffocating
Until
Every
Last
Breath
Is
Gone.
Wake up.

Nicotine and Broken Dreams (April 2016)

My breath smells like nicotine
And broken dreams
As I gaze up at the stars
And wonder how you are
I don’t know just how I came to be
But it’s clear to me
That I am falling apart.
Trapped inside my own mind
Knowing that who I need to find
Is someone I never was
So excuse me while I’m lost in this melody
And lose myself to this head rush.

Sunsets and silhouettes are beautiful like
you
But as do they,
They come to an end
And fade out like we do.
We’re all just crowded in the same
notion of “forever”
Settling down at these early ages
Because there isn’t anything better
And I remember often on nights
I would stare into your eyes
And compare you to the light of the moon
Holding on to something that’s gone
But desperately clinging to you.

And if I could just disappear
To get away from here,
Then maybe you could fully let go,
But I don’t have the courage to stop the
blood in my veins
So I guess I’ll never know.

My breath smells like nicotine
And broken dreams
I can’t let you know
That my mouth says, “forget me”
But my eyes say, “don’t let me go.”

Anxiety (Sept 2016)

She lieĀ in wait in the entangling forest
For her abductor.
Curled up to herself,
It was quiet,
All too quiet
She could hear her heart racing,
And her thoughts loud
Louder than the dark world raging around
her.
She didn’t want this
She didn’t want to be captured
But maybe she deserved it.
She deserved to have the cold take over
her body,
Crippling her every move
And stifling her breath
She trembled as each slow and agonizing
footstep encroached
Faster and
Faster they were
They were coming.
The fear creating masses within her.
The moon had disappeared above her and
Everything
Was
Completely
Silent.
She opened her eyes.
She held up one quivering hand
And realized
She was her own abductor.